Deep Thinking at Christmas

We all know what comes with Christmas, big dinners, presents, laughter and fun with family and with friends…

But for me, I lost my most best and closest friend in 2022, my grandad, and since then I’ve spent everyday thinking about him… But at Christmas time, my emotions are so heightened by my grandad being gone, he for me a lot of the times, made Christmas what it was.

My grandad made me laugh, taught me lots and lots of things from birth to age 27 and made everything that could be changed into a joke, a joke.

I used to cry laughing at the things he would say and the things that he would do… And now, I sit hoping that he would come back and make me laugh like he used too.

I really fail in every way possible to get past the fact that he’s not here with us anymore, and yeah you’d think that this long would be enough time but I’m not able to pass this.

It really hurts knowing that my grandad, the only person I want to be back in my life and to have a laugh with… Will never happen. What heals this pain and this heartache?

The answer… Nothing can.

Maybe some day I’ll get used to it, but right now it’s hurts constantly, always hurting, always aching!