What Time? Overtime!

As much as I try to get to sleep, sometimes I just can’t. I end up lying in bed thinking about everything, mostly money, but I still can’t shake the fact that I very nearly died, and over Christmas, too. I know I’m here, and my God, am I thankful, but for four days I was as good as dead—the harsh but blunt truth of life support.

While I was on Salford Royal Hospital’s Intensive Care Unit, where I spent all Christmas, I worried about my condition and whether I would survive my serious illness. At least five other patients perished, four of which were elderly, but the one I cannot get out of my mind is the death of a male teenager who essentially died by suicide after pulling a treatment instrument out of himself. This instrument was keeping him alive. The most heartbreaking part was that both his mother and father were visiting him when it happened. All those things, and the promising life he had ahead of him—and yet I kind of understand why he did it. He would have had many things done to him that were alien, so he wouldn’t have known how important they were or what they were doing. The impulse would’ve been to remove them, unfortunately with fatal consequences. Knowing he died in his teens and I survived shows that you don’t need to know another person to experience survivor’s guilt.

Changing topic, money is always on my mind but I guess with the world we are in now, money is on everyone’s minds, especially the minds of the old aged pensioner’s (OAP’s) seeing the first thing Labour did was take the Winter Fuel Payment off the Pensioner’s that paid taxes all of their working lives and get money took off them as a thank you, ensuring that alot of pensioners have had to choose between eating and heating, something I’d never make someone do, but the whole Labour government seems fine with it, in fact they seem to like it.

Another thing that’s always a constant on my mind is health, not of me so much even though I’ve got enough health issues myself but is of my mum and grandma, unfortunately the health of both of them is going downwards, as is my own but it’s my mums and grandma’s health that’s bothering me as I don’t really know what’s going on with mine.

Maybe one day I’ll be able to just get in bed and go sleep, hopefully.